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This year, I ran the GP Bern. And by “ran,” I mean I hobbled through 10 miles in a time so humbling it may have violated local dignity laws—1 hour and 54 minutes. Turns out three weeks of “training” (read: minimal movement and maximum denial) is not the golden ticket to athletic success. Naturally, in […]
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So, apparently my garden has become the preferred restroom for my neighbor’s cat. And by “garden,” I mean a modest patch of greenery outside my rental apartment. Because, let’s face it, who can actually buy a house in Switzerland? Not I. Still, I love my apartment—it’s cozy, the neighbors are great, and everyone seems understanding […]
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Dear Jeff Bezos, Congratulations on your wedding, I suppose. Or should I say: congratulations on once again demonstrating your uncanny ability to ignore loyal peasants like myself who’ve been stuffing your money bin since 2006. That’s nearly two decades of me buying silicone spatulas at 2 AM and yet—shockingly—you failed to send me an invite […]
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(a tale of spiral stairs, zip ties, and mild panic) I’ve got a spiral staircase in my apartment that leads directly to the basement — aka my personal lair, which doubles as a home office, gym, and standard-issue dad storage cave. Oh, and I’ve got direct access to the garage too, so yes, I’m living […]
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(how I tricked my wife into the giant rectangle of happiness) Once upon a time, I had a 55″ Samsung TV. It was so old I couldn’t even find it in my order history. Yes, it was a flatscreen — I’m not a caveman — but it had officially entered its “early retirement” phase. Last […]
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Well, this is it.The site’s live. I didn’t break the internet, but I did mildly inconvenience it.More posts are coming—some useful, some questionable, all written by a guy who thinks rebooting can fix almost anything. ctrlalt.dad is now operating in low-power mode. Stay tuned. Stay strange.