(how I tricked my wife into the giant rectangle of happiness)
Once upon a time, I had a 55″ Samsung TV. It was so old I couldn’t even find it in my order history. Yes, it was a flatscreen — I’m not a caveman — but it had officially entered its “early retirement” phase.
Last fall, it developed a weird quirk: a dead 1cm strip right down the middle. Not totally black, just… off. And the picture from the top of the screen somehow echoed into the bottom. It was like watching TV through a funhouse mirror. Hilarious? Yes. Watchable? Barely.
So I brought up the idea of replacing it. My birthday was coming up, and I played it cool: “Maybe we just set a budget and see what’s out there?” My wife agreed — 600 CHF. I hit the internet like a man on a mission.
Pro tip: size does matter.
After some Olympic-level price comparing, I found a 75″ 4K Samsung beauty for 699 CHF. Slightly over budget, but hey, we’re not going to go bankrupt over 100 francs, right? She agreed — without asking what 75 inches actually meant in real life.
Weeks passed. I waited. I emailed. I mentally redecorated the living room.
Then delivery day came. I worked from home like a responsible adult awaiting a spaceship. The driver called, confirmed I was home, and rolled up in a semi-truck like he was delivering a baby elephant.
She saw the box for the first time when the delivery guy wheeled it in like it was a coffin for a refrigerator. I looked thrilled. She looked like she was calculating how many years she’d go to prison for TV-related manslaughter.
“This is ridiculous,” she said.
“It’s magnificent,” I whispered back, like I was meeting my child for the first time.
We peeled off the packaging. She helped, but only because she knew if she didn’t, I’d somehow drop it and die under the weight of my own poor decisions.
When we placed it on the shelf, it didn’t fit. Not even close. The shelf now just exists as a conceptual support structure, like training wheels for a monster truck.
Every time we turn it on, she says, “It’s still too big.”
Every time, I say, “And yet… perfect.”
It’s amazing. Cinema vibes. All the apps. Stream all the things. It even mirrors my phone, tablet, PC — everything but my deep desire to feel justified.
Do I love it? Absofuckinglutely.
Would a 65″ have been fine? Sure.
Do I regret it? Not for a second.
If this beast lasts another 10 years, it was worth every sneaky, oversized franc.
What comes next, you ask?
Well, now I have to make sure a 9-month-old human tornado doesn’t put their adorable, sticky little hands all over my glorious new screen.
Do I have a plan?
Nope. Not even a bad one.
Will I figure it out?
Absolutely.
Creative problem-solving is basically my dad superpower — right after “convincing people bad ideas are actually great ones.”
Stay tuned.
Leave a Reply