-
Lately I see more and more the difference between being there and being present. I love my family and I always try to be there for them. But sometimes I am there and just not present. Most of the time it’s because other things swirl around in my head. Mostly it’s about work stuff. The best example for this was last time. I was at home on a Saturday and told my wife about the sleeping schedule with the baby — who’s taking care of him which night — because I have to go to a customer on Monday. My…
-
Summer finally showed up, I was off work, and the whole family was melting in the heat—perfect time for a pool day. My sister offered to take her eldest, and my sister-in-law brought her daughter along too. Since I was still packing up our toddler and doing the snack run with my wife, they asked if my 10-year-old daughter could go ahead with them. Sure, why not. When we eventually rolled up to the pool, arms full of watermelon and half-melted drinks, my sister hit me with the update: there’s a kid running around the pool area like a miniature…
-
This year, I ran the GP Bern. And by “ran,” I mean I hobbled through 10 miles in a time so humbling it may have violated local dignity laws—1 hour and 54 minutes. Turns out three weeks of “training” (read: minimal movement and maximum denial) is not the golden ticket to athletic success. Naturally, in the glow of post-race shame and throbbing calves, I swore I’d get serious about sport again. Luckily, my wife and son had just returned from visiting her family, and I figured what better way to multitask than to turn the baby stroller into a rolling…
-
So, apparently my garden has become the preferred restroom for my neighbor’s cat. And by “garden,” I mean a modest patch of greenery outside my rental apartment. Because, let’s face it, who can actually buy a house in Switzerland? Not I. Still, I love my apartment—it’s cozy, the neighbors are great, and everyone seems understanding about my baby occasionally screaming like he’s in a horror movie at 2 a.m. It’s a mutual respect thing. Kids cry, people deal. Enter: the new neighbors. Along with them came cats. Plural. One of them is roughly the size of a small alpaca. Ever…
-
Dear Jeff Bezos, Congratulations on your wedding, I suppose. Or should I say: congratulations on once again demonstrating your uncanny ability to ignore loyal peasants like myself who’ve been stuffing your money bin since 2006. That’s nearly two decades of me buying silicone spatulas at 2 AM and yet—shockingly—you failed to send me an invite to your gold-plated love fest. Do you know how many times I’ve graciously clicked “Buy Now” without comparing prices, just to keep your fleet of phallic rockets fueled? I’ve essentially been underwriting your midlife crises in two-day shipping installments. And THIS is my thanks? Not…
-
(a tale of spiral stairs, zip ties, and mild panic) I’ve got a spiral staircase in my apartment that leads directly to the basement — aka my personal lair, which doubles as a home office, gym, and standard-issue dad storage cave. Oh, and I’ve got direct access to the garage too, so yes, I’m living the suburban dream… in vertical form. But then, as often happens in sitcoms and real life: a baby appeared. The problem? Spiral staircases look cool in listings but are absolute nightmares to babyproof. I couldn’t use the usual IKEA stair gate — you know, the one…
-
(how I tricked my wife into the giant rectangle of happiness) Once upon a time, I had a 55″ Samsung TV. It was so old I couldn’t even find it in my order history. Yes, it was a flatscreen — I’m not a caveman — but it had officially entered its “early retirement” phase. Last fall, it developed a weird quirk: a dead 1cm strip right down the middle. Not totally black, just… off. And the picture from the top of the screen somehow echoed into the bottom. It was like watching TV through a funhouse mirror. Hilarious? Yes. Watchable?…
-
Well, this is it.The site’s live. I didn’t break the internet, but I did mildly inconvenience it.More posts are coming—some useful, some questionable, all written by a guy who thinks rebooting can fix almost anything. ctrlalt.dad is now operating in low-power mode. Stay tuned. Stay strange.